why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
