Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
