I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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