I swear god or herbie drove my car home
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
