i may or may not be watching the land before time
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
