I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
