hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
