I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
