i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
