you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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