Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
