i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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