i just google imaged poop.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
