I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
