Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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