I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Randomize
