worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
