i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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