if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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