i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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