It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
You can't special order awesome
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
