have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I have peed in a lot of sinks
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
