Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
