I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Randomize
