She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
