meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
