it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
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