so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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