I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Slut skills are useful in every country.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
then he tried to convert me to islam
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
