dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
