I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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