you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
