even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Randomize
