you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
