you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
