So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
