Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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