You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
