Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
