She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Why is your signature on my underwear?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
