He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Randomize
