But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
