But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
