I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
