I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
