Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
