Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
