it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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