My first STD was from a foam party
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
