is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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