Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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