Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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