question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
