I accidentally had phone sex last night
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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